In a photoshoot for a brand of coffee-flavoured vodka, Keeley had to choose between portraying a lion or a panda. In order to make the choice, she drove to the Dogtrack one evening, asking both Rebecca and Ted, "Which would you rather be, a lion or a panda?"
Because she asked the question without any context, it then became a sort of Rorschach test, giving insight into each personality. Ted emphatically went with the panda option, which immediately drew Rebecca's wrath. She forcefully called him "mad", calling pandas "fat and lazy" and possessed of "piss-stained fur". Lions, she claimed, were "powerful and majestic" — rulers of the jungle.
Ted shot back that, actually, elephants were at the top of the jungle ecosystem, and that he actually wanted to be one of them. Keeley couldn't allow that, but still refused to give any insight into why the two choices were being offered in the first place. Naturally, then, Ted retreated to his original choice, forcing Rebecca to offer the joke, "What's black and white and red all over?" The answer: "A panda that gets anywhere close to a f*ing lion. The answer is lion."
Soon thereafter, Jamie exited the stadium and Lasso asked him to choose between the two animals. The footballer refused to choose either, saying, "I'm me. Why would I want to be anything else?" Both Ted and Keeley took this answer to mean that Jamie was "definitely a lion".
Only later, when Ted sought Keeley's help managing Jamie's behaviour at the photoshoot, did Ted finally understand that the choice was between two anthropomorphic costumes for Keeley and her unnamed co-model.
Seeing how awful the panda option was, Ted at last came down on the side of "being a lion".