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Not to be confused with the titular group or song.

"The Diamond Dogs" is the eighth episode of season one of the Apple TV+ series, Ted Lasso. It premiered on September 18, 2020.

Synopsis[]

As Ted and Kent are both having relationship problems, Ted consults the “Diamond Dogs,” while Roy lays it on the line with Keeley. And Rupert returns with an offer . . . and a bet.

Plot[]

In the aftermath of the Everton away game and all-night celebrations, everyone is nursing a hangover or dealing with the consequences of their actions. Ted struggles to figure out how he feels after his one-night stand with Sassy, Rebecca kicks the hot waiter out of her bedroom and Nate sleeps inside the bus to ensure he doesn’t miss it.

Between having a panic attack at the karaoke bar and sleeping with Sassy, Ted got divorced. He consults his “The Diamond Dogs” — his newly assembled group consisting of Nate, Coach Beard, and Higgins.

Later, Rebecca asks Ted to accompany her to a meeting with minority club shareholders, the Milk sisters. When they show up at the bar for the meetup, Rupert and his new fiancée, also named Rebecca, are waiting for them. Rupert talked Bex into buying out the Milk sisters for their 2.9% ownership in the club. When they get married, Rupert will technically be a part-owner once again.

Ted and Rupert make a wager over a game of darts. If Ted wins, Rupert has to stay far away from the owner’s box while Rebecca is still in charge. If Rupert wins, he gets to choose the starting line-up for the season’s final two games.

Ted wins and humiliates Rupert. In a brief speech, Ted says he has been ridiculed his entire life by men who think they know everything and therefore trade natural curiosity for judgment. Had Rupert not been so arrogant, maybe he would have asked Ted if he’d played lots of darts in his life. Ted would have said, yes, I used to go to the sports bar with my father every Sunday and play darts until he died when I was 16.

Rebecca is delighted when she returns to the office and proudly tells Higgins what happened at the bar as he comes to deliver some unfortunate news. More than 10,000 seats are unsold for the final games of the season. Rebecca tells Higgins to leave them for visitors, but he implores her to do something because otherwise, Manchester will take them, and the crowd will be a sea of blue. Knowing that will infuriate Rupert, Rebecca tells Higgins she doesn’t care.

It’s the final straw for Higgins, who has grown attached to Ted throughout the season. He tells Rebecca she’s not going to feel any better by continuing to punish Rupert. He doesn’t want to be part of her scheming anymore and quits. Rebecca assumes he’ll come back for his job eventually.

There is a knock at Rebecca’s door- it’s Keeley who has discovered Rebecca hired the photographer to take pictures of her and Ted much earlier in the season. Realizing Rebecca has been playing games this whole time, Keeley tells her to tell Ted the truth, or she will.

Keeley and Roy begin navigating their budding new relationship. Since their steamy kiss, there hasn’t been much progress since Roy isn’t the best communicator and leaves Keeley perplexed about whether he genuinely likes her. So, when Jamie shows up at Keeley’s house to thank her for everything she taught him when they were together, Keeley finds herself drawn to him, and they sleep together again.

The next day, Roy asks Keeley out on a date. He wants to take things slow because he’s had one-night stands in the past, and they always make him feel terrible after. In the spirit of honesty, Keeley tells Roy she slept with Jamie again. Roy is upset about that. Keeley tells him to get back to her when he can figure out how he’s feeling.

Roy consults the Diamond Dogs, and their message to him is: get over it and grow up! He and Keeley haven’t even officially started dating. Roy returns to Keeley, and they agree to go on a real date. It goes well as Roy tells her what his “private business” was when he blew her off for the other night. Roy does yoga with a group of 60-year-old women. He helped one woman struggling with a divorce and also went out to brunch with some drag queens.

Keeley and Roy share another kiss that’s interrupted by a slimy photographer. Roy takes the memory card from him, which is how Keeley finds the old pictures of her and Ted.

Cast and characters[]

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